Tips To Living Dangerously. Tip #64: Danger In Juice.

Drinking out of a glass bottle is safe when the top of the bottle isn't busted.







but at the same time it can also be pretty boring. Not alot of danger in juice. Tip #64 is here to change all that.



instead of unscrewing the cap like a boring whore, take a household hammer and bust that sonofabitch open so that the top is uneven with pointy sharp glass.





Safe unbusted glass bottles are for people with vagina's. You don't have a vagina do you? Course not. Your a man. Now take a sip of that juice! You deserve it.





if you start living by the tips then you will die by the tips. Trust me on this one.

(I KNOW I'VE USED THE BLOOD PICTURE BEFORE SHUT UP IT WORKS DAMN IT BAHHHHH)

I'm Jelling For Television.

Is it me or did the last two days of being fucked around with drugs change me around today.

Got plans good sir.

You want to know about the plans? That would be so good for you. surprises my friend! Everyone loves 'em.

Besides, telling you the plans will make me feel like i owe you one successful plan. I can't sleep with that on my mind.

You will know when the time comes.

or maybe this craziness will pass, i hope not.

I need TV.

A Day Of Riding Shot Gun And Not Alot Of Fun

Woke up at 5 and got ready. Didn't pack a lunch.(no time) I got out in the snow at ten to six only to find that my keys are shit and never want to unlock the door when i really need them to. After 2 minutes of yelling "shit fuck mother fucking cold bitch fucking shit" I finally got the door unlocked and drove off.

Got to the job at six to find some guy smoking. He told me to move my car so i did. He went inside and went into is office, he had birds, tons of birds, big birds, little birds, birds as big as your head. He was also not the person i was looking for.

The people i wanted showed up late. two males and one female. I met John.(Hey! I remember his name!) He was with the same temp agency as me.(so what?) He was older and wouldn't shut up.

We loaded some paper onto two trucks then John and the older woman took off.(never got her name)

I was with Tom.(another name!) He was saying numbers to himself as he did paper work. I stood around wondering what was going on. "well lets go!" he said. I got myself in the truck as he did this that and the other thing to get it going. I sat and watched.

We got on the road at seven and drove around the city. We dropped paper off at a public school and then picked up printers at office buildings downtown.(so they deal with paper and printers, good to know)

"well one more stop then its off to Windsor"

"Ok... wait what? Windsor? I've been to Windsor! That shits far! No one said anything about driving to Windsor!"

"I go to Windsor a few times a week. its nothing."

so we drove to Windsor, well he did, i passed out a few times on the way. We stopped at a few buildings, but no one was around. Less work i guess. Its not like i did anything anyway. I sort of watched him do all the work and maybe acted like i was helping.

A few stops later and we found our selfs at some tech office "Boy everything looks very nice and expensive in here" Not really sure what they did. Websites maybe? All I know for sure is that the break room had it's own name and theme. Area 51! Sci-fi posters on the walls, Foosball table, Pool table, Xbox. Tech people got the life.

We had to get this huge fucking printer upstairs and we used the stair climber 3000. It was still a bitch. (I was hoping it was a robot that would be all "Leave it to me humans") anyway after that we headed back to London. An hour and a half of naps naps naps.

They gave me a shirt to wear for the day. I wore a sweater over it and i also had my cool looking beat up hobo shit green jacket on.

That was about it. 11 and a half hours of driving around. I wish i could do it again next week, but I'm getting the teeth pulled. Lame.

Back To The Same Old Basic Bah Bah Bah.

I just had to open my big mouth. Winter is back for one more scare and it picked a great time of the week. Just when i thought i was done with getting up early to cold crappy snow for another 6 or so months it comes rawwwwwwring back to piss me off.

Tomorrow starts at 5:00am for me because my shitty shift at some shit place under a bridge starts at 6. Hooray.

A full day of heavy lifting, meeting new people, forgetting new names and answering shitty questions.

"You in school? You like hockey? Girlfriend? Bitches? Bah Bah Bah?"

The best thing about being a temp is the agency calling you. They tell you the job and you tell them if you want to take it or not, makes you feel like some sort of big shot, kinda.

"$8.50 an hour? Who do you think your talking to?"

The thing about the whole temp life style(life style?) is that you never know what your going to get. When you get in the building you start to spot the good jobs, don't even kid yourself, you will never be doing the job you want. I just want a job alone that i can do for 10 hours and then leave. No fuss and no muss.

You will get shown around the building and meet people as some loud Machine in the back round is humming so no one can hear shit. You will then walk over to your station and meet the person you will be working with.

The partner. I always hope my partner is out going and will talk to me cause i sure as hell ain't fucking talking to him. Did i say him? Its not always a guy. Sometimes its a woman, not a good looking woman, but I've had my share of good looking partners.

anyway, after getting to know the partner they should fill you in on all the drama and shit that goes on, they will even tell you the easy way of doing the job.

If the job blows(like sucks so much it blows) then getting out of it is sort of tricky, the best way to getting out is waiting for lunch.(if you can make it till then) enter the lunch room and take a look around for the person that doesn't talk to anyone, the outcast or someone who doesn't speak English very well. Sit down and make some sort of small talk, maybe get deep into their lives, do they have kids? Do they have a house? how did their parents die? Shit like that.

Then when your done eating lunch (eat it fast) tell them that if anyone asks, you went home sick. (or if you can act sick then be my guest, I've haven't acted sick in a few years so i don't really know how i would do.)

Sneak out the back door so no one that cares will see you then run to your car and drive off.(gets the heart pumping) Get to a phone quick and tell the temp agency that you left the job and you've told someone that you left (better that you tell them then the people you just fucked over)

Thats just the basics. I want to say more, but i don't want the "tempers" after me. (they always need rides home)

Start Up The Death Toll.

Now that ice and snow and balls numb below zero shitty winter is finally almost dead we can now look forward to spring and summer and all the joy that comes with it.

Swimming, drinking outside.......yeah.

but is summer really as care free as we think? Is there more to worry about then getting sand in our fucking sandwiches? (damn you fucking beach)

Some people like to believe in this globe warming hoopla and that this summer will be the hottest of all time.

It makes me wonder if these globe warming nuts want people to die from heat this summer. They want a god damn death toll! They want people to fucking burn so more people will join this fad that will just die out when we all die out from this fad. (know what I'm sayin?)

"The more the better!" is what Al Gore would say.

"I want to see burn wards packed. I want to see people being sent away because they have no more vacancies. Let the sun take the skin off every man, woman and child. Let the skin of the innocent get crispy and black."

Sounds like Gore, anything to get people to listen to what he has to say. That guy will say anything.

The point to all this? Sun block, don't be part of the death toll, people will use your death in their own personal gain and thats just wrong, even if it means saving the earth.

ROCKET SLIME!

Can Square Enix really make a good game that isn't an RPG?

I guess the answer is "Yeah sure"



I heard it was good, but then it just sort of fell off the word of mouth radar. I kept seeing it at EB for $25 so i went "why not?"

Rocket Slime is a spin off of the Dragon Quest games(big RPGs in japan) You don't play any of the main character from Dragon Quest, but you do play as a Slime (A slime is sort of the mascot of the dragon quest games)

Rocket slime is not an RPG, it sort of starts out as a Zelda game but as you play it for an hour it grows into something else.

The game pretty much has you rushing into a whole bunch of shit like items and bad guys, you pick them up and carry them over to carts that bring them back to your town.

After you beat the first level you find this tank castle place and you start to use it in one-on-one battles against other tank castle things (I'm new OK) that are hanging out in levels.

so the shit you find in the levels can be used as fire power(neat).

thats what I've got from it so far, stay tuned.

The Call Out: Award Shows.

Award shows? Give me a break.

Don't get me started on award shows, its fine if your up for an award, but other then that why would you want to waste your time?

and the winner is...... who the fuck cares who wins? Are the people watching at home sitting at the edge of their seat for the answer? Do they stay up late at night angry if their favorite singer doesn't win the new artist of the year award? what sort of award is that? new artist. bah.

I only bring up award shows because they just had the Junos on. The Junos? No one gives a shit about the Junos, the only reason i know about it is that every radio DJ in Canada has to talk about it, i wonder if it's their job to watch it? Not even the Canadian artist care about winning a Juno.

"I heard you won a Juno Award!"

"I'd rather not talk about it, its a sensitive subject."

The word "Juno" sounds like it's an award show made by Nazi's for Nazis.


The best part of working at night is that you avoid these ass kissing shows and ass kissing events would out even trying. I miss those days. Happy times.

Kill a celebrity for me.